Happy Valentine’s Day.
If you’re spending it at the bridge table with your partner—romantic or otherwise—you’re doing something right.
The Strange Truth About Bridge Partnerships
Bridge partnerships are like marriages, except you can’t file for divorce after one bad board.
You’re bound together for the session. For better or worse. In slams and partscores. Through finesses that work and finesses that don’t.
And like any good relationship, it requires trust, communication, and the wisdom to know when to keep your mouth shut.
What Bridge Teaches About Love
1. You can’t control what your partner does.
You can signal. You can bid descriptively. You can play standard or fill out a convention card.
But once partner pulls a card, it’s out of your hands.
The same is true in relationships. You can communicate your needs. You can set expectations. But you can’t control the other person.
You can only control your reaction.
2. Mistakes are inevitable.
Your partner will revoke. They will forget your agreements. They will bid 7NT with two aces missing.
This will happen. Guaranteed.
The question isn’t whether mistakes happen. It’s whether you can forgive them and move forward.
Same at the bridge table. Same at home.
3. The best partnerships make each other better.
A great bridge partner doesn’t just avoid screwing up. They make you look good when you screw up.
They cover your weak suits. They see opportunities you missed. They know when to push and when to let you rest.
That’s what great partnerships—bridge or romantic—do. They elevate each other.
The Couples Who Play Together
Some of the best bridge stories involve married couples who play together.
Bob Hamman and Petra Hamman. Eric Rodwell and Debbie Rosenberg. Zia Mahmood and his wife (though they famously don’t play together often—probably a smart call).
These couples navigate the same tricky terrain everyone does: how do you criticize partner’s play without starting a fight? How do you celebrate success without making partner feel like they contributed nothing?
The ones who last don’t avoid conflict. They just know how to fight productively.
The Best Advice
If you’re playing bridge with someone you love today—or someone you want to keep as a partner—here’s the secret:
Say “nice bid” more than you say “why did you do that?”
Assume good intentions. Forgive bad results. And remember that the goal isn’t perfection.
The goal is to keep showing up, board after board, year after year.
The Bottom Line
Bridge partnerships are built on the same things romantic partnerships are: trust, communication, patience, and a sense of humor when things go sideways.
And if you’ve found a partner who bids Stayman when you open 1NT, and who forgives you when you forget your Jacoby transfer agreements, and who still wants to play with you after you went down in a cold 3NT?
That’s love.
Happy Valentine’s Day.
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Your turn: Do you play bridge with your partner/spouse? How’s it going? Any survival tips?
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